the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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