Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Actions speak louder than pants.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
