True but thats because hes a fetus.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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