I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
