I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We need to get me chipped asap
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
