He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
