My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
