I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
