I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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