dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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