I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
