Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
