It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
