this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
