At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
