I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
