The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
In America we eat man semen.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
