I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sext me about skeletons
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
