I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
