Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
