she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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