stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
