it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
