im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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