omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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