Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
