Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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