Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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