we're blogging at a bar
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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