Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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