Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
