a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize