No stitches, just platelets and will power
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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