Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
