My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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