so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
