I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
