You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
