After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
