Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we're making bets on your personal life
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
