Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
