Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
