THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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