Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
