Do you still have your period?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
True strength comes from lack of pants
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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