This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Randomize
