i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
