How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
