1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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