He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
