What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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