i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
