So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
