hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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