The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
