i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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