i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
