Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
