I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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